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The Twisted Oath: I, state your name, do solemnly swear that I am AT LEAST 21 years of age, I am allowed to cross the street by myself, and I clean up my own messes (mostly). I promise to be faithfully Twisted in thought, word, and deed, without regard to race, color, sex, national origin, personal hygiene, or hairstyle, and will to the best of my ability, uphold this glass, with its aromas of dark berry and leather, plummy flavors and firm tannins before consuming it forthwith.

Riding out of the west like a 60's TV commercial, this wine sports fruit as big as all outdoors, with hints of tobacco and leather and a rugged chin. Come to Tempranillo Country!

Just sip one glass and you'll hear a tale. A tale of a tasteful trip. That started with this Viognier, aboard this winery ship. The mate was a mighty winemaker, the assistant brave and sure. The Twisted Few set sail that day for a winemaking tour, a winemaking tour. The weather started getting rough, the vineyard almost lost. If not for the courage of the cellar crew the flavors would be lost, the flavors would be lost. Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah something something something isle, with coconuts, papayas too. Taste butterscotch, apricots. A touch of oak, the finish and Mary Ann, in this Twisted Oak Wine.

Don't Exit! Our Bordeaux-style blend of Cabernet Sauvignon and Petite Verdot is at the Stage where it is drinkable now, or may be Left for a few years. Either way, its aromas of raspber-ries and blackberries, and flavors of currants and nutmeg will Snaggle your Puss any time. Heavens to MURGATROYD!

OK, so your sorry- excuse for a team may already be out of contention this year, but that doesn't mean you still don't have a team to root AGAINST. So why not throw some bratwurst, turkey burgers, and veggie kabobs on the grill, gather some Rubber Chickens and their friends, and enjoy a game? (After all, you never know when they might cancel a season on you...)

Our Rosado is a blend of Grenache and Tempranillo.

Viognier is just like Chardonnay, only better!

What is it with Grenache and winemakers? When the Grenache comes in from harvest, our winemaker Scott can be seen wandering the cave with a blissful smile on his face. He starts arranging wildflowers in the bungholes of barrels, and he positively skips and jumps up and down the steps of our gravity-flow winery. He even starts eating scones...Well, whatever it is, we've bottled it for you in this Grenache. You've been warned!

We bet you're looking back here for one of the pithy, yet vaguely amusing, back labels that you have come to expect from Twisted Oak. Well, we're sorry to disappoint you. The fact is, our winemaker is over-the-top producing all of these small batches of handcrafted wine. While they are all Damn Yummy™ to be sure, each one now requires its own unique, witty back label. We have succumbed to the pressure. We give up. Just drink it. It's good. (And if this is your first bottle of Twisted Oak - welcome! The other labels are better.)

This wine is a blend of 53% Mourvedre, 40% Syrah, and 7% Grenache - to learn more, check out our Geek Sheet. To get some, just download and print our convenient Order Form!

You knew it was coming. The looked so -ing good on the red wine bottles. So here we are skipping blindly across the overkill line and slapping a on our white Rhone-style blend. You might be asking, “What the are they thinking?” It's simple... In an era of “Reality TV” and “Shock Radio”, one should never underestimate the power of a little punctuation.

While there are many in the wine industry that would have you attaining your doctorate in order to properly match foods and wine, we here at the Twisted Oak Institute couldn't care less what you pair this Petite Sirah with. In fact, throw out the rules! Live a little! Get crazy! Pour it on your corn flakes, drink it with applesauce, wash down a tuna on rye, try it without pants! We don't care!

Yes, we will cop to the fact that Verdelho rhymes with Bordello, but this one won't get you on “News at 10” with numbers under your chin. Citrus blossoms and a fine clean finish are what you get, and all you need Baby!

Would you believe that in 1823 a poor Spanish farmer named Alejandro Bariño created this varietal by crossing Chardonnay with a spicy apple pie? Well, then would you believe that this grape was named "White Rhino" in Spanish for its powers of virility? OK... then would you believe this crisp, spicy Spansh white that you've never heard of is Damn Yummy and you should just Get Smart and drink it?

Rising as tall as any overly-mortgaged casino you would care to name, is our Skyscraper of Syrahs from the Tanner Vineyard. Intense aromas of dark berries and rich Corinthian leather are only momentarily Apprenticed to the earthly blackberry flavors, and soaring tannins. Hair re-growth, however, is not included. Drink it well, or You're Fired. (expected availability August 2005) Syrah is a varietal that is the major component of the great wines of the Rhone valley - to learn more, check out our Geek Sheet. To get some, just download and print our convenient Order Form!

Made at Twisted Oak by Winemakers Of Unusual Size; this swash-buckling Calaveras blend is so big you'll need six fingers to hold the glass. It's inconceivable that one could resist the aromas of black currants and clove spices, the flavors of blueberries and plums and tannins as big as Fezzik himself. This wine will certainly leave you mostly dead. Share it with your special buttercup, a gentle giant, or the entire Kingdom…as you wish. The Spaniard is a blend of 64% Tempranillo, 24% Cabernet Sauvignon, and 12% Petit Verdot - to learn more, check out our Geek Sheet. To get some, just download and print our convenient Order Form!